Saturday, July 04, 2015
Just the usual bleak and abandoned type of uncredited and unexplained images I'm prone to capturing badly. Time to pause and reflect. Scotland is really quite beautiful the way it is, hot and sticky then wet and cold, air thick with midges and then clean and clear as a Swiss mountain top, beer warm and strong, lager cold and fizzy, chips fat, hot and greasy, wimpy French fries in a tin bucket, traffic crawling at 10 mph for miles because of badly planned summer roadworks, great open spaces with twisting curves and fast and straight gradients, moaning bastards and cheerful, helpful people, trees standing up and trees that have fallen over, folks who use commas and apostrophes correctly, others who just don't. Deal with it.
Friday, July 03, 2015
As a postscript to yesterday's astonishing admission that I had to break into my own hotel room having been unable to, as I thought, unlock the door. Turns out I was pushing said door instead of pulling it. I may be going through some slow regressive process whereby I eventually turn into a slow, slobbering ape like creature confused and challenged by everyday objects...but happy enough in my ignorant state none the less. Is this the comedy ending that fate has in store for us all? If so I will continue my struggle, I'll eat more fish (the grilled sea bass was fine), listen to more new music from the current century, read books with no pictures, take brisk walks and practice mental arithmetic. I'll also approach difficult doorways with a better attitude and have proper conversations with myself rather than fall into the trap of chatting to myself with small talk and circular, puerile gossip. I may drink copious amounts of draft craft beer to dull the dull pain of existence. I'll also doodle diligently in Sharpie and photoblog each piece I produce. There that's better already.
Thursday, July 02, 2015
David Cameron famously failed to understand the modern meaning of FFS, of course it's Franz Ferdinand Sparks. FFS, the raucous and witty hybrid supergroup made up of two interesting but patchy bands getting together in some uneasy Glasgow v USA marriage that no one could have seen coming. I just downloaded an entire copy, all sixteen deranged tracks of it. Hysterical and possibly a bargain.
I also locked myself out of a hotel room tonight, apologetically borrowed the master key from reception only to find that it didn't work. So I'm outside in the rain...Tom Cruise moment you might say...I checked the window...unlocked...after a small struggle with myself and my belongings I opened it enough to climb in...surprisingly despite the various inhuman stretching manoeuvres involved I made it without injury. Ninja. Now I'm inside but I find the door lock is in fact jammed...so I can't get out...sit down and listen to FFS for a wee while then...there's always the window I suppose. I do deserve a quiet pint now.
Wednesday, July 01, 2015
It's the slut and slag of British (brutish) snack bars. It's like a mixture of type 2 bottoming, concrete and gunge wrapped up in dirty, filthy chocolate and it probably should be illegal. It also doesn't seem to have shrunk to a shadow of it's former self like Mars and Snickers have and it does still have the latent power to fill and satisfy. Even Kraft's clumsy takeover of Cadbury has not completely killed it. I salute the Double Decker, still going reasonably strong in a diluted and shrivelled up world.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
A simple enough solution you'd think, everybody in that glutenous and dysfunctional family mess/mass known as Europe stumps up €3 each and then we resolve the Greek financial crisis. Simply taking a bit of responsibility and for less than the price of a Starbuck's macchiato the good people off Greece could start to grow their economy, jail a few bankers, shipping magnates and politicians and so restore Greece's economic fortunes. Is that too much to ask as a small way of saying thanks to the place that formed the foundation of modern civilisation? Probably yes but if only this kind of thinking could be applied successfully, somewhere, just once. Follow the impossible saga around about here https://twitter.com/indiegogo.
Monday, June 29, 2015
|In daylight everything is much clearer.|
Sunday, June 28, 2015
|A room with a view.|
|We have a picture but not for long.|
Friday, June 26, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
|Applies strictly to dogs on leads, so take care.|
|Yes, there is a gorilla parked in that garden propped up on sticks.|
Meanwhile the mentally questionable are failing to answer any of the questions on the grounds that their rights are being compromised by the presence of the more physically but less mentally able. I turn, ready to play the gender card when my excessive age and raw indulgences trip me up and my compromised racial history accompanied by years of white male privilege and disrespect serve to remind me that my car may be badly parked despite all the gravel noises and squelching I enjoyed making a few moments ago. Don't get me started on sexual abuse v equality either. We can all be victims if we choose. Life us tough but can also be what you make it and who, who I ask you will ever truly speak up for the colour blind, stateless and dyslexic?
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
A testimony to the power of time and a relentlessly damp atmosphere. Over there in the west things stay wet and rot and grow moss and slowly blend back into where they came from as the great green carpet covers over them and slowly strangles the life and the strength from their materials. One day they'll be gone altogether, drowned in the putrid cosmic soup of eternity. Well that's a nice wee thought then.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
So the unbridled outdoor life continues as the solstice passes and the midge bites irritate and the caravans trundle slowly, east to west like dying white elephants. The other night whilst almost relaxing and chatting to the locals I discovered a silver path of jelly pod bods littering the shore and generally disturbing my peaceful environment. How untypically sad is the passing of a jelly fish swarm and how pointless. Nobody mourns their demise, you just try to avoid stepping on them and looking at them too close. Poison springs to mind and raw zombie brains. The thing is they are successful, they float around on the warm currents and most seem to avoid dying for quite a while and are content to look a bit like cat's vomit (another story). Perhaps, if my beliefs ever allow it, I'll return to this earth (or at least the watery bit) as one and just meditate around the Gulf Stream area for a period of time.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
I accidentally stumbled back in time the other day and crashed into Bing Crosby's image as he was enjoying a quiet half pint of Tennants at some point in the 60s or 70s in Central Scotland. Possibly on this exact spot. Time travel can be a little clunky and hard to control. Fortunately there was no serious impact on the space time continuum (I hope). I can't explain it any other way really.
|Crowds gathered by the abandoned crazy golf range in order to view the aquatic spectacle that was unfolding before our tired eyes. The sun shone and the wild applause was deafening.|
|Pretzel; little or no logic however.|
I picked up a rare treat whilst loitering without intent, baffled and still within Dunoon's paved and crowded bosom. A super raspberry ripple 99 style cone accompanied by tasty bite sized pretzels filled with peanut butter. £1 for a generous portion in a paper bag. Old school. Few of my travelling companions were willing to share this treat so I ended up scoffing the lot pretty much alone and misunderstood. There were vivid dreams and few hallucinations later in the evening but no stomach upsets so I guess I got away with the pure random greed of it.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
As I've failed to fathom much about the meaning of life, (mine or anybody else's) I routinely collect quotations that in some way provide some temporary meaning or that when added to other quotes as if in some kind of quotation bible make there own kind of cumulative sense. There are many more where this one came from and they are all as profound and sadly tend to be quite difficult to remember and therefore are hard to refer to or find comfort in during those dark nights of the soul that may occur from time to time.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
I do belong to that long lost and much lampooned generation who, for a brief moment believed that prog-rock was the unending answer to some kind of unending question(s) about life and more importantly music, hair and loon pants. After a while it turns out that nothing really happened and the albums were churned out in some self indulgent fashion and judging by the list here in Rolling Stone I certainly missed a few as they rolled by. Now I've a pile of virtual catching up to do and of course I never will. I've still to read the full list but I do wonder what's better...try to listen to all of these (those I'm unfamiliar with anyway) or just try to catch up on Sparks' enormous and no doubt highly entertaining back catalogue.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
This piece of photographic history features my legs apparently but little else of interest. I enjoy playing the minor roles in these lifetime dramas. No animals or humans were injured during the process but there was a lot of rich sponge cake and pavlova consumed. The cart was unharmed.
Saturday, June 13, 2015
I'm so easily by influenced by TV adverts. I'm a simple soul really. I blame the Discovery Channel (Turbo) and the advertisement segments during Fast and Loud. There, apart from PPI, shit loan deals and trailers for a myriad of other similar dumb ass pretending to be bad ass programmes I discovered Dreamies. There, on the silver screen where the cat jumps through a solid wall. It is the Discovery Channel after all so high quality educational images are regularly featured. Now there's no going back. I bought some and handed them out. One cat is already displaying the early signs of serious addiction and the potential to break bad, eyes spinning and mooning. The other is indifferent, like a Pentecostal Preacher at a Dundee strip show (?), or something. It seems that when it comes to peddling stimulants to animals or to specimens of basic level humanity there's no going back once you open the packet. The good news is of course is that they're all fit for human consumption...apart from Fast and Loud that is.
Friday, June 12, 2015
In many ways I remain perpetually puzzled by life and all that it offers, throws at, rains on, discharges or provides for me. Today it was a marvellous and unexpected piece of parking space design in a well known superstore car park. Complete with a jaunty curve, an immovable pillar and no obvious means of getting a normal car either in or out. Motorcycles and cars that have passed through a scrapyard crusher are all very welcome.
Thursday, June 11, 2015
sometimes i wonder why i'm trapped into not writing things in lower case all the time like a proper artist or revolutionary politician or poet might do, there must be something wrong with me, unable to shake of the need for basic punctuation and the construction of
usually as long as possible with extra words added in at the second or third edit and reread, i do all these things becos i take pride in what i do (like spelcqeking), however simple or off the cuff it might be, i wantthings to be right. i has standardz
Today I was reminded about my friends at RBS and £45 billion they lost and how that weighty sum of money will never return. I wondered how Fred Goodwin might be doing, what he's thinking, how he passes the time even, perhaps he reflects and perhaps he regrets. Anyway it's all going to be sold back now, back to the same regimes, old boys and mindset that ruined it and the rest of the world of banking. No local banks then, community solutions or nationalisation because you see we've all clearly learned some valuable lessons.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
On what has allegedly been the hottest day of the year (with many misshapen blokes spontaneously discarding their shirts and showing their tasteful tattoos as usual) here's some nice pictures of wrecked military equipment frozen to the ground somewhere in Siberia. It has been pleasantly warm mind you, the central heating was given a brief rest and we enjoyed a seasonal salad with the piping hot fish pie. Tar melting around the potholes and various dogs on the receiving end of a good walking. Nissan Micras are out in force traveling slowly and erratically and there are bikes everywhere. People put on shorts and buy those emergency barbecues that cook exactly four burgers before they die and I sip a warm beer somewhere in the distance. That's summer for you. I wonder what the weather is like today in Iceland?